A sex therapist's guide to 37 erogenous zones

Somatic Sexologist Alice Child outlines 37 (yes 37!!) of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and gives her top tips for how to explore them to build pleasure.

Erogenous zones are points on the body that can build pleasure and arousal. Some of these will be obvious to you, but others may be surprising!

Although I talk about 37 different erogenous zones in this article, the reality is that everybody is different, and the possibilities are almost endless! Discovering what and where works for you and your partner(s) from one day to the next is part of what makes sex, pleasure, and sexual exploration so fun! 

What is an erogenous zone?

An erogenous zone is defined as anywhere on the human body that with touch or  stimulation can have a sexual or arousing response. Erogenous zones tend to have lots and lots of nerve endings; it’s what makes them so sensitive and pleasurable to explore!

What are common erogenous zones?

Although there are lots of common erogenous zones, any part of your body can be an erogenous zone if you give it the right attention! It’s time we stopped thinking of genital touch and penetration as our only gateway to sexual pleasure!

Some common erogenous zones are the ears, the mouth, the lips, the neck, the nipples, the chest, the belly, the hips, the public bone, the thighs, the feet, the hands, the genitals, the anus, and the ribcage. 

How do I stimulate erogenous zones? 

Every body is different, and what feels great for one person might feel ticklish or unpleasant for somebody else. It’s why having open communication and having an open, curious mind is so important. 

The best piece of advice I was ever given when it came to erotic touch is half the speed…and then halve it again.  Today’s society is obsessed with fast, quick, hard sex - because that’s what we see in porn and films. It’s also what people often do alone during masturbation, so they replicate the same fast movements during sex. 

Although hard, fast, passionate sex can feel great, it’s not what we want every time. And fast is not always the route to incredible, explosive, orgasmic experiences. Slower can be better!

When we slow down, we can actually feel more. Remember, arousal takes time to build in both the head and in the body. In fact, many people get more and more sensitive when they take their time.

Plus, some people don’t even need touch to get turned on - just knowing somebody is NEAR that part of the body can be incredibly exciting and arousing, and bulbs a lot of anticipation.. Many people can even reach orgasm without any touch at all - eg during sleep, or using breathwork.  

Why can sex or stimulation feel different from one day to the next?

What kind of touch people enjoy not only changes from person to person but also moment to moment. As your nervous system and body relaxes and becomes aroused, you may start to desire and enjoy different types of sensation. It’s also very common to become more and more sensitive as time goes on.

Desire and arousal changes the blood flow into your pelvis, genitals and erectile tissues, and makes everything feel better and more sensitive. Erectile tissue filling up with blood happens in both penis’ AND vulvas, but it just takes a vulva and clitoris longer (up to 30 minutes- so take your time!)

Plus, for people with vulvas, the round ligament in the pelvis lifts your cervix up and out of the way when you are aroused, meaning deeper penetration feels more pleasurable. 

Plus, your menstrual cycle (if you get periods), also impacts what sex can feel like throughout the month. For example, when you are near the end of your cycle (just before your period), your cervix sits lower so deeper penetration might be painful or uncomfortable. 

So go slowly, use lube, and remember sex should NEVER feel painful. Communicate communicate communicate, try different positions, and find out what feels amazing for you today.

What is body mapping? 

Body mapping allows you to discover new erogenous zones, and learn which parts of your body will respond well to pleasure when given the right attention.

It is one of the games in Pillow Play, giving you the chance to map your own body or your partners with the curiosity of an explorer! What new and delightful sensations, pleasures, and curves will you each discover when you slow down and veer off your well trodden path?! 

Body mapping is great for:

• Teaching us about our bodies
• Discovering new erogenous zones
• Improved sexual communication and knowledge 
• Increasing sensation and pleasure (even in places we thought had low sensitivity / were numb)
• Slowing down and savoring a slower form of pleasure and arousal 

How should I stimulate the erogenous zones? 

Here are some suggestions for types of stimulation to try on 20 common erogenous zones:

The Vulva, Clitoris, and Vagina:

The Penis and testicles:

The Anus and Butt:

The front of the body:

The back and side of the body:

The face and neck:

Enjoy!

Alice x