Virginity and Stigma - SheSpot speaks to The Independent

With the rise of "Virginity Testing" practices and videos going viral across social media, we speak to The Independent about why notions of virginity are outdated and can be unhealthy in promoting sexual shame.

Outdated notions of virginity feel very much entrenched across our society. Take the porn industry for instance - search 'virgin' on Pornhub and there are over 15,000 results. Whilst there's undoubtedly been some great work in outlawing things like virginity testing (e.g. the UK ban enacted earlier this year), we still feel like there is a lot of work to be done to fully dismantle archaic ideas of sex and virginity. For us and many others, sex education at school focused purely on transactional, penetrative sex and failed to explain pleasure derived from other experiences and preferences (particularly for women). The lack of knowledge around healthy sex and pleasure, paired with increased consumption of unchecked online content feels like a perfect storm to perpetuate harmful ideas relating to sex and virginity. This has surely fuelled the viral nature of the TikTok videos showing virginity testing.

Closer to home, we're often surprised by how deeply rooted sexual shame and stigma is among the women who we speak to (and across all age groups). There are still stubborn taboos around self pleasure in particular -  we've heard several accounts of male partners expressing discomfort with their wives / girlfriends masturbating outside of partnered sex. This feels like an extension of outdated views around virginity and the idea of gifting sex to men. We hope we can play our part in changing these attitudes. 

At SheSpot we want to help women reclaim their pleasure and challenge prevailing stigma around virginity. Through our content and product discovery SheSpot reframes what sex can mean for women (it might not involve penis-in-vagina or even penetration at all!). We place a huge emphasis on 'sexual wellness' - a holistic term which encompasses self love, body confidence and prioritising pleasure. Our community have found our curated sexual wellness boxes to be an accessible way to explore their sexuality and pleasure in a safe, supported environment. Our boxes feature beautiful, bodysafe products designed with women in mind - allowing them to discover what makes them tick on their own terms. We believe that reclaiming ownership of our bodies and pleasure through self discovery is a key way we can challenge archaic notions of sex and virginity.   

Read the full piece on The Independent here.