Your guide to couples toys

Couples toys are having a moment - and for good reason. More people than ever are bringing toys into partnered sex, and the conversation around them has never been more open, more normalised, or more exciting.

But if you're new to the world of couples' toys, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming. So we've put together this expert guide to help you find the right toy for you - whether you're toy-curious, ready to upgrade, or looking to add something new to the mix.

One thing before we dive in: there is absolutely no shame in using toys in the bedroom. Couples' toys aren't a sign that something's missing - they're a tool for more pleasure, more connection, and more fun. Think of them like any other wellness tool: something that helps you feel better in your body and closer to your partner.

And always remember: use lube with your toys! It heightens sensation and makes everything more comfortable. More on that below. 💧

🌸 Hands-Free & Wearable Clitoral Vibes

⭐ Best for: simultaneous pleasure during penetrative sex, closing the orgasm gap, hands-free play

Here's something worth knowing: only 1 in 10 women can orgasm from penetration alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation - and wearable vibes are designed to deliver exactly that during partnered sex, without anyone having to stop, adjust, or hold anything in place.

✅ Why you'll love them

• Designed for use during sex - not just foreplay
• Hands completely free so you can stay fully present
• Works across positions
• A game-changer for couples wanting to close the pleasure gap

⚠️ Things to know

• Fit matters - look for flexible, body-adapting designs
• Always use water-based lube for comfort and material care
• May take a couple of tries to find the best position for you

🛍️ SheSpot pick

• Dame Eva — Wearable Couples' Vibrator — the original hands-free couples' vibe. Flexible wings tuck gently under the labia, keeping it in place during sex so stimulation is continuous and effortless. A true icon.
  

💍 Vibrating Cock Rings

⭐ Best for: simultaneous stimulation for both partners, longer-lasting erections, beginners to couples' toys

Cock rings are one of the most underrated couples' toys out there - and one of the easiest to introduce into the bedroom. Worn at the base of the penis during sex, a vibrating ring delivers stimulation to both partners at once: vibration reaches the clitoris externally while also intensifying sensation for the wearer.

✅ Why you'll love them

• Pleasure for both partners simultaneously
• Can help maintain stronger, longer-lasting erections
• Simple to use — great for beginners
• Adds vibration without changing the dynamic of sex

⚠️ Things to know

• Choose body-safe silicone — never cheap rubber
• Always use water-based lube
• For vibrating rings, always look for rechargeable options 

🛍️ SheSpot picks

Browse our curated collection of vibrating cock rings here - every option is body-safe, rechargeable, and chosen by our experts.

📱 Remote-Controlled Toys

⭐ Best for: anticipation and play, letting your partner take control, adventurous couples

Remote-controlled toys are all about tension, anticipation, and the thrill of handing over (or keeping) control. One of you wears it; the other controls it - from across the room or across the table. Whether you stay at home or take the fun out into the world, the build-up alone is worth it.

✅ Why you'll love them

• Adds an exciting power dynamic to play
• Can be used at home or discreetly in public
• Deepens communication and connection between partners
• A great way to explore control and anticipation

⚠️ Things to know

• Look for rechargeable options
  
• Always use water-based lube for internal wear
• Have an open conversation beforehand about the desired sensation - whether its G-spot, external or anal play.

🛍️ SheSpot pick

• Coco de Mer Pleasure No. 4 — The Remote Egg - a luxury remote-controlled egg vibrator in soft, body-safe silicone. Discreet, powerful, and beautifully packaged in a vegan leather travel case. Give the controls to your partner. You won't regret it.
• The Oh Collective - Boo Vibrating Plug - For those looking to explore anal play, this vibrating butt plug is a great option, featuring a remote control and guidance cards. 

🌊 Wands & All-Over Body Massage

⭐ Best for: full-body arousal, deep muscle tension, building pleasure slowly, warm-up and foreplay

Not every toy has to go straight to the main event. A wand massager is one of the most versatile things you can own - powerful enough for deep muscle tension, and extraordinary for full-body arousal that builds slowly and intentionally. Start at the neck, shoulders, inner thighs, and let things unfold naturally.

✅ Why you'll love them

• Works for full-body massage and intimate stimulation
• Powerful and versatile - suitable for beginners and experienced users
• Great for extended foreplay and building arousal
• Can be used solo or with a partner

⚠️ Things to know

• Wands are typically more powerful than other toys - start on a lower setting
• Look for flexible heads for comfortable use across the body
• Use with lube for extra glide

🛍️ SheSpot pick

• Dame - Com Wand - The perfect all-rounder! The bulbed head covers both the clitoris and vulva with a broad rumble. Need to release tension somewhere else? Com works as an external personal massager too for full-body relaxation

💧 Don't Forget the Lube 

We can't say it enough: every toy experience is better with lube. It heightens sensation, reduces friction, and protects your toy's material.

Water-based lube is usually best with silicone toys — some oil-based and silicone-based lubes can degrade silicone toy surfaces over time.

Not sure which lube is right for you? Read our expert guide to choosing the right lube here.

🛍️ SheSpot picks

• Explore our full range of water based lubricants, curated and reviewed by our experts! 

💬 Final Thought

Couples' toys aren't about replacing intimacy - they're about deepening it. Whether you're just starting out or looking to expand your collection, the best toy is the one that feels right for you both.

At SheSpot, every product in our couples' edit is body-safe, curated by our experts, and chosen because we genuinely believe in it. No shame, no awkwardness - just better sex.